I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
