I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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