i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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