Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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