I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
