I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
