I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
