So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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