Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I wear drunk well.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
