I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
did i walk over a car last night?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
