Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
