today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
