i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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