thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Naked Twister starts at high noon
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
