i think my tv is drunk
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
