My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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