Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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