she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
