Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
