the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
no you cant smoke seaweed
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
