What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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