I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
