God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
