should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Boobs are out for the taking
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
