Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
