Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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