Can Purell be used as lube?
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
