just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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