Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
