There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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