I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
