Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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