Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
