No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Damn victory sex feels great
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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