her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
