people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
When did angry sex become our thing?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
