And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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