Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
