Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Congratulations! We have a period
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
