Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
