no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
