Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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