I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
