I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
