There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
