me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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