I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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