Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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