A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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