you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
