That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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