glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
