how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
