I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Everclear isn't food dammit
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
