Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
