Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Randomize
