this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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