I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You're a waste of cheezeits
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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