Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
