Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
